April 11, 2017
WASHINGTON - Following todays White House press conference where Sean Spicer stated Hitler never used chemical weapons, we decided to probe into his educational past.
We reached out to Education Secretary Betsy DeVos for the full scoop.
"I have looked into the matter of Mr. Spicer's education and I must say he passed history with a solid C-. With his excellent marks the press must be mistaken. Hitler did not use chemical weapons. Following the presses incompetence I have ordered all history text be checked and corrected on the facts."
We also looked into Sean Spicer's grades in the arts. We are pleased to announce he received A's for theatrics. Given his unique way of handling the press this does not come at a surprise. What is surprising, however, Sean Spicer barely passed physical education. We blame this on too many donuts while rehearsing in his high-school mirror, "Sean Spicer, future White House Press Secretary."
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