March 16, 2017
Lo K. Rup - Jr. Editor
Speaking in Detroit Michigan President Trump finally said the words his die-hard supporters had been waiting for, “The DOJ is arresting Hillary as I speak.” The crowd went wild, “Lock her up! Lock her up!” It was a spectacle only comparable to wild monkeys being trapped in a cage. Make America great again hats were being thrown around as if the monkey’s were throwing feces at each other. Two good ol’ boys in the audience who were clearly intoxicated had this to say. “Well we knew crooked Hillary was gonna face her day for all them emails, and Benghazi, and for making love to Osama Obama.” Minutes later we observed these two gentlemen wielding AK-45’s in the air shouting, “The south will rise again!” Where they found their weapons and how they moved them in past security is a mystery. However, Trump has been known for some unorthodox rallies that really speak to people.
As far as the DOJ moving to arrest Hillary, few details have been released. What we do know from Trumps rally statement, there was significant evidence Hillary used her phone to order everyone in the White House pizza on several occasions. As such, she is in violation of proclamation 666 of the State Department Security Code. The proclamation reads, “No person shall use any personal cellular devices to order food for the White House.” According to sources, this mandate came to fruition after several pizza delivery boys tried to obtain Malia Obama’s personal phone number. Trump is only doing his job by locking Hillary up as she broke a very serious White House rule. For more information on this story and stories like it, please follow and like us on Facebook and Twitter.